Knowing her….

I don’t exactly know when I’ve known her but it feels like I’ve known her for ages. The countless butterflies in the stomach, moments of happiness and despair shared together, the unending conversation.

The words can’t explain how happy I was when she used to compliment me genuinely. As a boy I was always supposed to suppress emotions and that was how trend was. Hiding my emotions to the extent I could was what I always did refraining to be emotional. But that couldn’t last long. I could no longer stop telling her what I felt about her when she shared her heart with me when I’d lost mine.  From that moment, I felt so comfortable with her. Her whole heart is at stake, why not decorate it with some beautiful stuffs; I thought.


I had nothing to add its charm. Listening and embracing deep down was what I could do. I’d smile, cry, scream, dance and take an intense breathe. I was happy with what was going on. Gradually, I was so comfortable sharing everything; ranging from pervert-ish to life, career and whatever comes along the way. I was fortunate enough to experience my adolescence when I crossed 20 even though I couldn’t be familiar during the time of adolescence. You took me to the peak of my adolescence. Few minutes of conversation with you could heal my sickness and I’d be high with energy when I was low.

Reflection (know)…

All these used to be a part of the daily schedule and now, it’s all remained as memories. It’s surprising how time changes everything. I wonder how powerful time is. I am always startled observing my brother. I vividly remember the day when I took my brother to school with me for the very first time in his life. It feels like it’s just a few days ago and in reality it’s almost a decade now. My brother and I’ve haven’t changed much but time has changed and in turn everything has.

It gives me a cold chill to have become separated. Why not? The moon would surely feel incomplete in the absence of the Sun. But again, the same thing; the sun and the moon can’t exist at the same time. I should know and understand that. I guess that’s why we both don’t exist together. Maybe, we are better split. Maybe, it’s not the right time together and maybe we’ll unite in the future even more firmly and bond till eternity.

All about the past and sometimes I hang around anticipating the future; what, how and where’d we be. Getting no any substantial answer, I put off the thought and leave it to be a surprise package. I mentally prepare myself to get ready to accept whatever comes in life. Suddenly, I realize I already drank five cups of tea lost in the web of thoughts. Then I realize my thoughts were giving me a delusion of being in the serenity. I paid the money and losing my individual identity, I get the hold of the bunch of people in the crowd in the pursuit to regain and know my lost identity.


About the author

I come from the land of Gurkhas; the brave soldiers who fought tirelessly and didn’t let any countries rule Nepal. Because of those Gorkhalis, the Nepalese are proud to call “Nepal has always been an independent nation so far.” Nepalese Flag is the world’s only non-quadrilateral national flag; red color symbolizing the bravery and blue symbolizes peace and harmony. What a proud thing. Also, Nepal was the Hindu Kingdom in the past and now a secular state welcoming people from all the religions. Nepal is a country of living heritages and Kathmandu a city of temples. All in all, Nepal is a country with Unity in Diversity. Thank you for reading the boring random shits. These things don’t relate to me in any way. And those are not the things that describe me. If I introduce myself with the common voices of any nationality, group or community, it’s nothing but sheer stupidity. A part of it can be a shared introduction but not fully. So who am I? I don’t know who I am. It’s been years of SEARCH but nothing has been excavated yet. And also, I am not the right person to describe who I am. It's you who know me and whatever I say about me makes no sense. You tell me who I am ;)

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